Hi all, This is my first post and I’m just picking my way. I have a condition that affects me daily, just like you do. Myasthenia Gravis was diagnosed in July, 2011. I’d say I slowly lost everything I was familiar with beginning with who I was. My identity. (I taught more than 20 years, and with an MS in counseling I helped parents and families for 10 more. I could not do that today.) I lost 47 pounds and my thyroid became under active. I took way too many antibiotics for a bladder infection and could not stop the diarrhea. I lost 30 pounds. I took something called Mestinon, a non-steroidal pill my neurologist prescribed so I could swallow, in a fashion. After 4 hours when the medication wore off, I felt even worse than before I had taken it. But you know the story, it was a slide down into nowhere land and I could not guess what bodily function would be the next to stop working for me. I am very aware right now of you my reader. You know about all this and have stories to tell more terrifying than my own, and I do not want this be a place where we come to ruminate over how bad life is and the difficulties of just existing. I am done with that. I hope you are, too. Because after the terror and longing and bargaining with God comes something else. I want this place to be a place where we can all come and speak of what is next. Get support, get some direction to help us on our paths to recovery. To a new life, which not every person is ready for (with or without our personal conditions.) But with little to lose, why not be someone who’s willing to go for it?
“It?” you say. Life. Life after death. Not your real death, but the death of the “you,” your self, your ego, or the self you have been since you began growing right after birth. We all developed a healthy ego thanks to our families in order to succeed in the world as we know it. If you’re not a practicing Buddhist you may not be familiar with the ego concept. Pick up Eckhart Tolle’s A New Earth for an in depth and delightful read about the ego. For a more mystical and for me inspiring read get Don Miguel Ruiz’s book The Voice Of Knowledge with Janet Mills. Audible.com has these books recorded, downloadable to your computer, phone or mp3 in case your eyes are fuzzy or double or just don’t work like they used to. Richard Rohr, a prolific writer and speaker and Franciscan monk has a wonderful grasp of the ego and is very clear about the death of it in his book Immortal Diamond also available at audible.com
Enough from me. I want to hear from you. Please post your experiences with your autoimmune condition. How have you gotten the best from it? What have you learned about your ego? Share some websites so we can learn, too. Thank you for reading and please be gentle with yourself. All of us with autoimmunity need no more pushing.