Hi to every one of you enjoying the slower, easier days of summer. What? Not your reality? Then what are we doing to ourselves? I had to ask myself that this summer. It began with a family trip to Arkansas…
Let me back up my story to last September when I traveled with my husband his sister and husband to a beautiful area of the USA, Eureka Springs, AR. We had a house for a week and enjoyed the weather, the sights the food and activities, but mostly I just got in touch with how great my life is. I smelled the pristine air over original growth bluffs and valleys off the balcony of our rental, saw the hawks circling, and heard silence, for hours on end. I said, I am so lucky to be here and sense this with my body, to be breathing, to feel this (The photo above is from our balcony.) That’s when I decided to ask my three children and their families to come share a week with me doing just this, there in Arkansas.
Nine months went by, and in June my beloved children, their husbands and their children, along with my younger brother and his wife came to the same house I had enjoyed so very much to play with me. I had to pinch myself daily, the fun I was experiencing was beyond anything I’d known.
And then the week was over. My family went back to their lives and so did I. I carried with me so many joyous impressions, and pictures to remind me, so why did I feel so down? I don’t mean a little let down after all the excitement, I mean down, into a well of unresolved angst. Some of my symptoms returned, and I became tired, and sad, and had to ask “What am I doing to myself?”
I hadn’t felt so tired and achy in two years, I had double vision and a droopy right eye, and here I was, all of July, a frump – a having-great-difficulty-eating-and-speaking sad and angry frump.
What did I finally do for myself? I’m such an advocate for all of us with autoimmunity to help ourselves and my world had shrunk to barely getting through the day. How could I help myself?
First off I did not stop my daily practice of sitting in stillness; listening to Divine guidance and accepting all that I was experiencing, the bliss and the resistance, and gradually letting myself feel how very sad and angry I was. I could not have done this without the safety and routine of sitting quietly and listening. Secondly, I gave up trying to push through this time in my life. That’s right, I stopped pushing, and cried, a lot. I continued eating the autoimmune paleo diet, practicing yoga, even if it meant only 5 minutes a day of stretching, taking my supplements, and I the joy of my days was to finish my final draft of my book. I took daily foot soaks in epsom salts, to help my liver, colon, and kidneys detox, which is always an issue for us with autoimmunity. I kept my gratitude journal and found so many things I’m grateful for and allowed myself to feel my gratitude throughout my body. I said thank you, thank you, thank you. And I recognized, felt, owned and released some deeply hidden beliefs I’ve carried around since I was a child.
Once identified, I could clear these beliefs and replace them with more empowering ones. It would take a book to tell you all the clearing techniques that work for me. Please google hidden or unconscious beliefs and please let us know below what you learn and do.
Let me share that the core belief at the bottom of these beliefs, like the roots of a tree that feed its branches was also at the bottom of my sadness. Once I identified, felt, and owned this core belief I was able to release it, literally from my mind and body. As it released, it lost all its power over me. I was able to let the affirmative belief seat itself within me, and more and more I’m remembering how fortunate I am to feel joy, to be open and receiving love in me naturally. To be feeling strong and pain-free again, to have my vision returning and my voice and throat working better and better each day is a gift.
What was the belief? I think that will take another blog entry. I’ll finish my story of how my dear family helped me find my belief, something so deep and hidden in me. I could not have found it without them and their delicious company in Arkansas. Thank you, dear reader for your patience and please google the topic of hidden beliefs. See what you find and share below.